London to La Rochelle

Moved over to blog.kevindixie.com

2009-09-14T15:02:00.000+02:00

I moved this blog over to blog.kevindixie.com a while back, feel free to keep up-to-date over there, anything La Rochelle specific will be on here.

Carnaval La Rochelle

2009-04-15T14:46:00.004+02:00

Another year, this time I tried the new lens..

La Rochelle - Ryanair - - Have they scrapped flights?

2009-04-14T08:00:00.002+02:00

UPDATE 14 Sept 09: They have scrapped flights, see my post about Ryanair stopping flights to La Rochelle

Just looking at various sites and could find nothing to explain the sudden apparent loss of Saturday, Tuesday and Thursday flights from La Rochelle to London Stansted. This post is purely to see if anyone has any inside knowledge and indeed want to start a conversation as to why Ryanair appear to have stopped flying from London to La Rochelle on Saturdays.

It must be a marketing ploy, I can think of no other reason..

BTW I stopped writing regualar posts on this La Rochelle blog as I felt I covered most subjects but if anyone wishes, it can continue.

UPDATE 14 Sept 09: They have scrapped flights, see my post about Ryanair stopping flights to La Rochelle

Fete de la Musique - La Rochelle

2008-06-21T09:25:00.002+02:00

Today, Saturday the 21st June is a great day to be in La Rochelle. It is the annual "fete de la musique". What does this mean?

Every year on solstice day France celebrates with a huge music festival. Now, dear reader, when I say huge, I mean massive. Last year there were around 3-500,000 watching the bands in the streets. La Rochelle is a reasonable large city and just about every square will have a band in it, starting from 10am today lasting until 2am in the morning. Click here to open the pdf agenda.

Pictures and videos will follow tomorrow.

Rock on!

Photo's of the Cavalcade in La Rochelle

2008-05-27T18:12:00.007+02:00

So here are some snaps of what went on this weekend in La Rochelle.

Tip for the organiser of the carnival, please do try to get the "floats" and bands/people walking closer to one and other, waiting 20 mins between some "floats" was too much for the average viewer. It made the entire parade take over two hours to pass us and must have been an age for those waiting at the old Port in the centre of La Rochelle!

All in all a reasonable day out, just could be more local businesses involved and a better website promoting it, maybe they could ask me next year to help?!

Waiting for the parade to catch up!

Cavalcade of La Rochelle

2008-05-20T17:32:00.003+02:00

If you are lucky enough to be in La Rochelle this weekend, you are in for a big party.

The Cavalcade of La Rochelle is a weekend of floats, bands, street animation and hundreds of thousands of people celebrating the start of summer. It starts on Saturday 24th May and finished on Sunday. Last year, we witnessed the float parade at around midnight in the old port, probably having a beer or two in Fitzpatrick's Irish Bar (my local pub!).

It passes right through the City of La Rochelle and should not be missed, if you are around, leave a comment we could have a beer or two ;-) If you have young children, be sure to go on the Sunday as Saturday is a late one, finishes around 1-2am!

La Rochelle Gites for hire

2008-05-14T15:30:00.003+02:00

Friends of ours own some amazing gites in La Rochelle and have finally set up a blog and website to promote them a bit. They have some free slots available this summer so take a look by clicking here!

La Rochelle has hundreds and possibly thousands of holiday homes available to rent and this year with 11 direct flights from the UK and Ireland, La Rochelle is set to be busier then ever. If you wanted to have a relaxing week or two surrounded by sunflower fields, our pals gites are perfect (this year in any case, the crops can be rotated!).

What is a gite? It is basically a self-contained house or apartment (generally house with large grounds) with every utensil required to spend a few weeks living like a local or relaxing in peace. In the USA I guess these are called Villas or Condo's to rent?

Why am I promoting their website and blog? They are friends, I want their website and business to succeed and more importantly, would love to meet more fuelmyblog people in La Rochelle this summer. Am also thinking of hosting a blog meet up on the beach, with free wine and wifi organised and we could even live blog it! Take a look and if interested, drop them a line. If you fancy meeting up in La Rochelle, drop me one ;-)

Quebec / La Rochelle 400 years this week

2008-05-11T23:19:00.009+02:00

In 1608, Samuel de Champlain, father of the "Nouvelle France", left La Rochelle, crossed the Atlantic Ocean and founded the city of Quebec (Québec) in Canada. This week saw the 400 year anniversary party in La Rochelle. On Thursday, the City of La Rochelle became very busy!
Take a look at the photo's and video's below, you may even find some young ladies strolling around (almost) naked covered in paint!!

The first video is the La Rochelle fishing students making nets.

Below is the Belem which was nearly as tall as the famous towers in the Old Port of La Rochelle.

Did I mention the ladies almost naked?

In La Rochelle's St Jean D'Arc Carpark, was a gourmet festival..Squid (Seches) and various other dishes were available for almost nothing..

Let the jousting begin!

Who are "these" girls?

And Finally, the Belem entered the Old Port in La Rochelle..

So we ate, drank and really had a great day watching the events unfold. Bravo La Rochelle, Congrat's Quebec.

A European Joke!

2008-01-31T16:47:00.000+01:00

I haven't posted here for a while, as I am now blogging the serious stuff over here and here, so I thought why not simply post things that amuse me on here? Every now and then some funny things will appear! This was in an email from a family member this morning (I fly this company almost weekly and I actually love their service but..):-

A man was sitting in the bar at Heathrow Terminal 3 and noticed a really
beautiful woman sitting next to him.

He thought to himself . 'Wow, she's so gorgeous she must be an air
hostess. I wonder which airline she works for?'

Hoping to pick her up, he leaned towards her and uttered the Delta
Airline slogan. 'Love to fly and it shows?'

She gave him a blank,confused stare and he immediately thought to himself .
'Well, she obviously doesn't work for Delta.'

A moment later,another slogan popped into his head. So he leaned towards
her again and said, 'Something special in the air ..?'

She gave him the same confused look. He mentally kicked himself and
scratched Singapore Airlines off his list.

He thought 'Perhaps she works for Thai Airways ...' and said,'Smooth as silk?'

This time,the woman turned on him and said, 'What the f**k do you want?'

The man smiled, slumped back in his chair and said . 'Ahhhhh, Ryanair!'

Banned because I live in France!

2007-12-18T15:07:00.000+01:00

A website just shut its door on France, 1938media.com. Why? See here.
(Of course I can't see it so it may be a dud link!) I can however see Techcrunch so the link to the story is here.

Now Loic Le Meur has apologised here, so can you take the country ban off please Loren?

I mean, I am English so maybe just allow my IP?!!

Here is the screen shot of 1938media site right now for me.

My take on the whole episode is that Seesmic is a great idea and is in pre-alpha which means it is there to be taken shots at but is also saying we are a work in progress so be patient. I have had similar attacks about my site.
This is what trying to create a difference brings you, normally elation and satisfaction, sometimes pain. Loic took the bait, why?, because he probably lives and breathes seesmic and is running at 200%, with not enough sleep and when you get a horrible critique under emotional pressure and tiredness, that is what happens.

A bad review feels like someone has attacked your child (I am qualified to say that!). Running a start up is hard, harder than anyone who hasn't tried will ever know especially when online 24 hours a day 7 days a week. But it is all great fun at the same time :-)

A day in Angouleme

2007-11-29T18:13:00.000+01:00

Last weekend we visited the beautiful city of Angouleme, it is about 1hr45mins drive from La Rochelle.

We went to the Gastronomades. This is a great example of how things differ here in France. Everywhere was free to enter and all about food!

We watched a really classy demonstration of how to produce spectacular Japanese food, by the highest rated Japanese chef in France. He prepared this freshly under the drooling gazes of 300 people. My son won the opportunity to sample the most expensive dish on any menu by winning with a raffle ticket given out on entering the hall, Sylvie also won with the next drawn ticket, you couldn't make it up!

So this post is more about photo's than words:-

This was a chocolatier demonstrating how to carve chocolate!

Marathon of La Rochelle 2007

2007-11-25T09:48:00.000+01:00

Today means another early start for me. The La Rochelle Marathon, 3rd largest in France, is this morning.

In 2006 the weather was beautiful, large crowds and bands on every street corner, this year the weather is a bit grim, raining and cool, it probably suits the professionals. Will it suit the crowds?

I shall be staying at home for the first hour and half because it passes by my front door and well, I can drink my black coffee and watch in comfort. You can watch the streaming video here, I will post up photos later:-

marathon live video
Finishing between the towers

Every finisher gets their own pack of oysters!

Survey on Social Networking

2007-11-22T10:30:00.000+01:00

I was just shown a great survey by Merrill Lynch on Social Networking, by @jbond on Twitter (note the link will take you to his Twitter). It offered a decent insight on how the users of Social Networks view things. I have my views but reading through the results has made me think of a few changes to Fuelmyblog.com more on that another day!

So, I have picked out the key responses and listed them below, Social Networking will be referred to as SocNet for obvious reasons:-

Firstly, of those surveyed so far, 67% are male with the average age between 22 and 25 years old. Interestingly only 5% are over 40 years old.

So, to the findings:-

59% purchase products on the net occassionally
89% use the net regularly to contact friends and colleagues.

76% of the SocNet users prefer to meet people face-to-face with the LEAST favoured form of contact being Video Chat. I wonder how this will change with increased internet speeds and technology?

36% use SocNet's daily.

53% use just one SocNet regularly, meaning that on average, a user has one favourite site, 80% use Facebook, 2nd most popular is Linkedin with 22%. Interesting is that 49% have between 100-500 connections across the sites they are members of.

The highest percentage of responses state that the user has invited between 0-10 people to join a site they use, this is a hard one to read into, if true, how do sites become viral?

The last time the majority (71%) of the SocNet users signed in to their accounts, they did so to contact a friend.

Asked the question "Which services would you use based on recommendations or offerings on a social networking site?", the highest percentage, 53%, would use/view Entertainment.

83% have never used a SocNet for professional opportunities.

And 57% would not use mobile to access a SocNet.

Finally, 82% would never pay to use a SocNet.

Any shocks in there? Some really interesting results, i'd love your views.

Collecting Oysters nr La Rochelle

2007-11-17T19:21:00.000+01:00

Today was one of those days where you crave fresh crisp air and clean away the internal cobwebs of life. Whilst I enjoyed Vegas, the networking and meeting great people, I really missed fresh air and fresh oysters. I am lucky that I live just ten minutes walk from the sea in La Rochelle, I say lucky, it has been hard work getting here and there is a certain amount of emotion leaving your home country but after a day like today, I have no regrets!

Oysters are everywhere in La Rochelle, and when the tide is out, the farms are revealed. The rules are that each person is allowed to scavenge 5 kilos per day but not from 20 meters of an oyster farm.

The oyster beds are about 1 mile out to sea, yes, that far. The farmers store the oysters in special sacks while they grow.

These sacks are kept on racks sunk into the ocean bed

So, we keep well clear of them! They also store mussels too..

Walking to the part we are allowed to take them from takes about ten minutes at a brisk pace! When you arrive, you see a bed of oysters, some empty, some full! While searching you must keep an eye on the tide..

My collection today in the bag

Walking back with the sun slowly setting..

Back home and after cleaning the shells

And finally, the succulent meat..wonderful.

Have you ever tried oysters? What did you think?

Mahalo - Fuelmyblog

2007-11-15T09:46:00.000+01:00

I have been a fan of Jason Calacanis for a long time and really admire Mahalo, I see it more than a search engine, more of an online encyclopedia, with some great creative reviews and to do guides.

So why am I writing about it here? Basically, I would love his guys to review my blogging community, fuelmyblog.com and write a page about it, so we have to ask for them to put us on the MahaloToDo list, maybe they will pick up on this and write one for us.

We would also like Jason to join in on our new book "the human behind the avatar" and help us promote it, every penny we would make from the sale of each book (15%) is going to Doctors Without Borders/Medecins Sans Frontieres charity, we will have this book ready for delivery by Christmas, the main aim is to show people that although we have avatars, there are real people behind them, real people that have hearts. We haven't yet started to promote the idea and Jason would be great to help us.

Why else? Well, we have recently added the new friends widget, this is in effect, a visual blog roll, it allows the fuel users to add their friends and arrange them in an easy to click voting space. Why should anyone be interested in fuelmyblog? It is a great community for new bloggers, for example, this is generally what happens when a blogger sets up a new blog, they generally go to blogger or wordpress, write a few posts, then tell their friends and family.. after a few weeks, their friends and family tend to drop off and the new blogger is alone. Fuelmyblog allows the new blogger the opportunity to find like minded bloggers, get new readers and win prizes. We would love Mahalo to write a page about fuelmyblog and hopefully help bloggers find new readers. So, please add this request to the MahaloToDo list and fingers crossed that we get a page. Thanks guys.

Back from BlogWorld Expo

2007-11-14T19:37:00.000+01:00

I had a great time meeting loads of interesting people at BlogWorld in Las Vegas. You can read more about it here. I also would like to thank Rick again for the hard work that went into it, I hope we can do something this side of the pond one day..

I also met, not mentioned on the fuel blog, iJustine, we have been talking for a while now about something coming up soon, she is very cool and is Miss Web 2.0! I'd love her to get a passport..

I wanted to show the following "gadget" I picked up. There are many things in the USA that are alien to us Brits, take the following for example, a drinking cup that is effectively a tiny envelope:-

Much more to come once the jet lag has gone!

You couldn't make it up

2007-10-29T21:44:00.000+01:00

I am currently spending ten days in the UK en route to Las Vegas for blogworldexpo. I took my kids shopping in the various superstores and saw the following in TK Maxx. You could not make it up, what happened to running around?

Mark Cueto Try in the Rugby World Cup Final 2007

2007-10-23T11:05:00.000+02:00

I have watched this clip many times now. I still do not see how it was disallowed? I know Australian TV referee Stuart Dickinson has now totally defended his controversial decision to disallow a try by England winger Mark Cueto in the Rugby World Cup final.

Many England and some neutral rugby fans claim the decision probably cost the defending champions the chance to beat South Africa. Jake White even privately told Lawrence Dallaglio (mentioned on the BBC's Inside Sport last night) that he thought it was a try.

But Dickinson told The Guardian newspaper in London that he was certain he made the right decision.

"I'm 100 percent happy with the decision,"

"We looked at some footage of it late last night and factually the decision is indisputable."

"Of course the players are disappointed."

"If they weren't, you would be disappointed in them as elite athletes."

I have got the clip below, you tell me..

La Rochelle Cakes!

2007-10-19T15:24:00.000+02:00

I live in a small city called La Rochelle in South West France.

For the past year and a bit, I have walked past a shop that sells possibly the best cakes (to look at) on Earth! I have always promised to treat myself one day to the one that looked like a small plate of spaghetti. That day was yesterday.

Guess what flavour it was..I had no idea before I bought it. It was delicious!

The shop is called D'Jolly and it is near Place Verdun in the centre. If you ever visit La Rochelle, you must have a cup of tea or coffee and a cake there!

A lego prostitute

2007-10-10T11:59:00.000+02:00

This one was too strong to be put on to fuelmyblog but I couldn't let it pass, it is hilarious.

(We are also giving away 100 T-shirts and $500 in cash to bloggers in October, not yet a member of my community fuelmyblog? Sign up!)

Facebook needs to somehow clarify people are real

2007-10-01T18:15:00.000+02:00

(click on the image for enlarged size)

For those reading this outside the UK, Gary Linekar is an ex-soccer star, now hosts a soccer program on the BBC called Match of the day. He also promotes crisps (chips). Obviously not him and the French advert underneath speaks for itself!

England V Samoa, a view from a England Fan

2007-09-24T12:29:00.000+02:00

Before writing this post I must disclose that I live in France, love the country and people and am married to a French woman and my kids are by the result, half French/half English.

So, moving on, I drove to Nantes on Saturday to watch the England V Samoa world cup rugby match. It was a hugely significant fixture for us English, firstly because we are the current Champions and secondly because we had to win otherwise we would be out.

The stadium at Nantes is small, seats around 37,000. When the national anthems were played, the stadium rocked with "God save the Queen" and was silent during the Samoan anthem, out of respect and the fact they probably had 100 supporters in the stadium. As soon as the game started, the atmosphere was absolutely electric, "Swing Low" could be heard throughout the stadium. England scored early and everything seemed great. Then Jonny Stepped up to take his first conversion kick..

The crowd, a huge number, started to boo. The fans surrounding me wearing English shirts, looked at one and other stunned, surely the English haven't turned against our World Cup hero. Then the blue beret's came out, the seemingly "English" fans around us were French, not only that, some were even wearing England shirts. This abuse continued through-out the game, every time the Samoans pushed forward the stadium would chant "Allez les Bleus". The French in the stand appeared to outnumber the English, certainly their voices anyway.

Tempers were rising within the stand, the English were clearly annoyed with the torrent of boo's and "allez". One young guy stood up and shouted "Don't cry for me Argentina", the crowd just stared at him blankly. Another guy was asking a large group of "suits" whether they would be angry if their team was constantly booed, again, blank faces..

I have been to many International rugby matches and have never seen this before, the atmosphere was ruined, killed by those chanting and booing. Normally, you would expect banter within the crowd, as the week before at South Africa, very light hearted and plenty of joking around. Many people had traveled for over 16 hours to get there, costing €105 for the ticket alone plus the associated travel costs on top of that. Those sat next to me were shocked and annoyed that they were unable to enjoy the atmosphere.

Why did they do it? I am still at a loss, ultimately, it was probably the only chance many of the locals would have of watching a World cup game, should they have done it? No, absolutely not, would you? Maybe I am just being too sensitive.

Below is a clip from my camera giving an idea of the noise surrounding us.

Top Tips when going to Stade de France for Rugby World Cup

2007-09-19T16:50:00.000+02:00

Firstly, before I detail my tips and experiences gained when watching the Rugby in Paris, I thought I ought to point out the following... Before you travel to Paris, be under no illusion, the beer is more expensive, the locals hate tourists and there is practically nothing written in any language other than French and finally, always have your passport in your pocket, if stopped by the Police, they will want to see it straight away. On the other hand, France is totally excited by the World Cup, has a fantastic public transport system and if you take something from my tips, you will have a great time.

The findings were all discovered on Friday 14^th September, the day England seemingly surrendered their world crown at the 2007 Rugby World Cup.

On match day, the streets of Paris are alive and buzzing with the fans of just about every Nation competing in the World Cup. Paris is known to be a city of cafe culture, you will not be disappointed, the streets are lined with tables and chairs outside, they normally are filled with smoking Parisians quaffing coffee, not during this Championship. The cafes are a mass of bright colours each one, the day I went it was mainly a sea of white and green, English and South Africans. The majority drink pints of cool lager and try to take in some of the heat from the sun, the atmosphere is electric. You will hardly hear a French voice, all English with accents from across the globe. There is zero trouble, everyone, regardless of team is talking together about the match.

Getting to the stadium is pretty easy, take the RER train directly to the Stade de France, it takes around 20 minutes from the centre of the city, very cheap and one train every few minutes. Outside the stadium you can sense a major event is about to take place, everyone is excited and on top form, people walk alongside opposing fans, chatting about who will win and why. All the way from the station at St Dennis to the Stadium the streets are filled with people selling merchandise, nasty looking kebabs and cans of beer from cool boxes. There are many bars en route and plenty of opportunity to buy tickets from touts. This walk takes around 10-15 minutes.

Arriving at the stadium you are thrust into a cauldron of noise and excitement, people singing, bands playing music, people dancing and fans of all ages from 3 to 90 years old (it seemed). There are plenty of Heineken stands and although really overpriced (7€ per pint) there are plenty drinking. Everyone is happy and there are a few bands playing tunes relevant to the fans surrounding them (although not sure about Tom Jones’ deliliah). TV crews interview people and the paparazzi will snap anybody wearing something unusual, the most popular when I was there were the two guys in South African kit wearing Nelson Mandela masks. One big tip outside, there are no big screens, do not arrive thinking you can watch a game before.

During the game and inside the stadium there are plenty of bars and food places, serving the usual fare, toilets as ever are a major problem as there aren’t enough.

After the game, all of the “beer tents” remain open, many were celebrating, many were drinking to forget. All in all, i’d summarise the atmosphere as being one big party, many fans left the ground through fear of not getting home and missing the last train, the woman I spoke to at the RER said that they run the trains until everyone is gone, I got the train at 12.30am (after shaking hands with a certain Martin Johnson outside the media zone)

Top Tips at a glance

Get RER train to Stade de France
Get there 2-3 hours before kick-off and enjoy the build up outside.
Have a beer after the game and miss the rush
If you want to watch a game before make sure you do it in a bar en route, nothing at the stadium
Not got a ticket? Plenty are selling on behalf of friends that couldn’t make it, you will watch the game next to them but..?
Go to toilet 2 mins before half finishes
Take the whole family without fear, no trouble and great atmosphere.
Instead of buying a program (€8) wait until after, loads are left under seats!

An example of bad customer service, Skype.

2007-09-05T22:39:00.000+02:00

So I have an issue with Skype, I have problems with it crashing all the time and it hardly ever works skype to skype but hey that is free, my complaint is Skype out, that is a paid service.

I sent an email to Skype as below:-

"Every time in the past two weeks that I have used skype in my skype-out paid for service, I have had to hang-up and re-dial as the recipients never every hear me for more than 10 seconds then it cuts out or freezes. I have 8mb line and frankly expect better. I now have red warning saying skype balance low, not surprising as the damn things eats money and provides no service, I spent $.80 trying to get a call connected, cheaper to use the land-line. I expect to see some kind of credit as this is simply not on, $10 spent, probably 2 minutes of talking in total. Disgusting. I have 5500 bloggers on my site and was going to recommend skype as a platform for our chat service, not now."

I then got a standard response, check the firewall etc..

"Thank you for contacting Skype Support.
We are very sorry to hear of your troubles with Skype.
Here are some ways to help you experience enhanced call quality:

1. Check that you are using the most recent version of Skype. You can download it for free:
http://skype.com/download/

2. Follow the simple suggestions here that resolve many call quality issues:
http://www.skype.com/help/guides/callquality/

3. Follow our visual sound setup guide to make sure your audio settings are correct:
http://www.skype.com/help/guides/soundsetup.html

4. Follow our visual firewall user guide to ensure that your firewall or router is not blocking Skype:
http://www.skype.com/help/guides/firewall.html

5. Make sure that all the drivers for your PC are up-to-date (sound, video, motherboard controllers etc). The manufacturer of your hardware will supply you with these.

If you are still not happy with the quality of your calls, then let us know, so that we can help you further."

Hmm..unhappy, make that pissed off, a standard response so I replied, a bit stroppy I admit:-

"Thanks for the standard response.

I am no fool and have used skype for a few years. It is only recently
that the service is shoddy, you guys simply eat up the users money with
no service, everything works on my PC just not every time. It is simply
not consistent. In fact I would say I have to restart 70% of my calls,
that is 70% losses of calls and costs that are obviously incurred.

Of course all sounds are correct, version is up-to-date, firewall
obviously is fine as skype does work for a bit (mind you as this is a
standard reply I am guessing nobody read my mail).

Once again, you fail to provide a service and I am thinking of reporting
the service as it is simply ripping off users."

Sooo..good old Skype came back with another standard mail:-

"So here are some more suggestions to help resolve the issue:

1. In Skype, Go to Tools > Options > Connection. Select the option to use ports 80 and 443. In the "Incoming Connections" box you can chose any port between 1024 and 65535.
2. Reconfirm that your firewall is correctly configured. Follow the simple visual guide here:
http://www.skype.com/help/guides/firewalls/
3. Quit any file sharing applications or high-bandwidth usage applications.
4. For more detailed security setup on a network: http://www.skype.com/security/guide-for-network-admins.pdf
5. If these suggestions do not resolve improve cal quality, follow these steps:
* Quit Skype
* Locate the shared.xml file found in
C:\Documents and settings\Your Windows Username\Application data\Skype\shared.xml
* Delete the file called shared.xml
* Restart Skype ( shared.xml will be recreated )
Note: Showing hidden folders and files has to be turned on: please navigate to My Computer > Tools > Folder Options > View. Once there, please make sure that the option "Show Hidden Files and Folders" is enabled.

5. Disable Quality of Service packet scheduling. Go to Start -> Control Panel -> Network Connections. Right click on the connection you are using. Select Properties. Untick the "QoS Packet Scheduler" option.

If you are still not happy with the quality of your calls, then let us know, so that we can help you further."

Hmm..more standard crap..doesn't once solve the fact it works for the first 10 seconds does it, proving everything is actually set up ok, so, I sent another mail (PS. I did all of the above about a year ago, no customer records obviously so how would they know?):-

"Hmm same response twice, third time and you get me blogging it word for
word. "

Then Skype customer services, Marko L to be precise, replies:-

"Hello Kevin,

Thank you for contacting Skype Support.

Our apologies for pointing this out, but they're not the same.

Actually if you look closely you will note the difference in the steps. But judging by your reply you have not even read them, let alone followed them through on Skype. Unfortunately if you don't do that we can not narrow down the problem. These guides are carefully designed and not just some random suggestions thrown together, even though they may not look much.

Please "reset" the exception for Skype in your Firewall software. The old exception can become useless and this can affect Skype connection quality.

If you are using windows built-in firewall,
Go to Start menu --> Settings --> Control Panel --> Windows firewall
If 'Don't allow exceptions' is ticked, please untick it.
Go to the 'Exceptions' tab
If there is Skype listed below, delete it.
Start Skype, you will be prompted to allow Skype to connect to internet, accept it.

If you are using some other firewall,
Go to Start menu --> Programs and select your firewall
Make sure that exceptions are allowed.
Go to 'Exceptions' tab
If there is Skype listed below, delete it
Start Skype, you will be prompted to allow Skype to connect to the internet, select 'Yes'.

Best regards,

Marko L.
Skype Support"

So. tell me Skype, why do you keep charging me for a service that doesn't work? All of the above is bullshit standard response email that I have had many times, if you had records, you'd be able to see that. I did the above standard email responses last year, your service is simply not up to the same standard as last year, it has deteriorated.

I have now blogged it as I promised. I still am unable to get a telephone conversation without it freezing or crashing yet you keep charging me. I may only have a small blogging community, there may only be 6000 bloggers signed up but I reply personally to every mail, I take every complaint personally, maybe the Skype team ought to too..?

Thanks.

Auto Trader Advert

2007-09-04T18:39:00.000+02:00

I am unsure if this is real or not but I found it funny!

The ever changing view from my office window

2007-08-23T11:29:00.001+02:00

The above picture is the square looking normal

This is our square last night, a film crew making a movie.

Students celebrating 100 days until taking exams, eggs and flour thrown, covering square in rubbish and mess! School claim not their kids doing it, yeah right.

Woke up one Sunday to find the Marathon passing by the window!

Review of my New Year Predictions

2007-08-21T11:18:00.000+02:00

On the 1st January 2007, I predicted ten things, It is now nearly September so time to review them and see where we are at:-

My predictions for 2007 were:-

1. A famous young celebrity will die because of crack addiction, shocking the world into doing something about it.
Not happened as yet, but I have a feeling that there are two candidates in the UK helping kids focus on the bad side of fame, namely Pete Doherty and Amy Winehouse, I hope they clean up.

2. Fidel Castro will die and Cuba will become part of the USA.
Again, he is still alive and I doubt Cuba will change..

3. Bin Laden will be found dead in a big city.
Strange one this, he is starting to talk again, so we will see.

4. The spice girls to take over the world's music scene.
Greatest hits album coming out and World Tour. Got it right I think.

5. Robbie Williams to get married to an equally big celeb and divorce within three months.
He has been quiet so time for some publicity, would be good for him.

6. Britney Spears to make some music.
In the recording studio but she needs help.

7. Spurs to make it to the Champions League and win UEFA Cup.
Made Semi-final of cup and narrowly missed the Champions League by one place.

8. Fuelmyblog.com will be the next big thing.
Will be, I am working on that!

9. I will do a triathlon..somehow!
I broke a toe the week before, and missed it, getting back into shape, still time.

10. Finally...a major political leader to be assassinated, the world to be in shock like JFK.
Saddam Hussein was assassinated but that was around the time I wrote this so doesn't really count, will have to wait and see.

Who ya gonna call?

2007-08-08T14:11:00.001+02:00

Tuurrrd BUSTERS!

Local Supermarket

2007-08-07T10:33:00.000+02:00

I live by the coast in France and just adore the French Markets. La Rochelle is a particularly busy fishing port. All the fish and produce in our supermarket is local along with the large daily food market. I went to Carrefour (a large shopping mall) and this picture was taken on my Blackberry Pearl of the fish counter.

Yes, Jaws himself was for sale:-

Web Mee

2007-08-03T00:41:00.000+02:00

I am sick of reading everywhere about this bubble. I haven't written a post here for months, been too busy with Fuelmyblog and other things.

I am writing this as someone that isn’t a guru, geek, evangelist, journalist or expert. I am a user.

I first used email in 1998. Up until that point, I had worked in face-to-face sales roles and nobody had the internet at home, in fact none of my friends even had a PC. I bought my first PC in 1997, when I installed my dial-up modem, my friends and family thought I had money to burn and was crazy.

In 2000, I downloaded “Unfinished Symphony” it took an hour. A 3Mb MP3. I wasn’t on a low wage, I had rented a farm at his time and earned a 6 figure wage, speed just wasn’t available.

Fast forward to today. My little cousin is 20 years old. She has been using Facebook for years, has loads of friends on it and just about every application available. When I asked her “have you heard of Facebook” she was stunned, “yes but why are you asking?” ,of course, she doesn’t read Techcrunch and all the others, in fact she hasn’t even heard of web 2.0. Why should she, she uses things that entertain her and her mates, she has known no difference, she has used the web since the age of 11. It is like me asking my friends “do you read a newspaper”..”yes, why?”.

My kids are 10 and 8 years old. They are what the web is being developed for, not people over 30. We just jump onto the next cool thing to keep looking cool, they jump on new things because they want it. “Daddy I want to watch SpongeBob..NOW!” then they click onto YouTube and there it is, they have no patience, they know no difference. My kids now look at things online at their Grandparents “look Nan, this is the song I like”. My Grandparents have an emergency mobile phone but to this day have absolutely no idea what it is. Things change.

I am 34 years old I have been using the web since I was 24. I remember growing up without mobile phones and when I signed up for my first mobile phone everyone laughed at me, I was 21, I needed it because I was a private investigator in London.

We are not the future and shouldn’t keep trying to guess what’ll be big next, they’ll be no bubble bursting, I wrote earlier that the only people that write about the bubble bursting are those journalists trying to justify their jobs. Wake up, things changed, no-one reads stuff written by old people anymore, not on the web anyway.

When I think bubble, I think of the 15 year olds blowing them at us with gum. The web is moving towards Web Mee not web 3.0. Web Mee is about what I want the web to do for me, not web 2.0 and what it did for you.

Why I had to put off a Venture Capital meeting

2007-05-18T12:54:00.001+02:00

I live in La Rochelle and was due to pitch to a Venture Capitalist on Tuesday this week. They are keen to invest in fuelmyblog and we are keen to raise some funds to enable survival etc!

So imagine how I felt when I banged my foot just a couple of days before..I couldn't walk and had to get through various airports and train stations, impossible. Had to postpone..

This is the xray that I got in this morning from the hospital.

That crack could have cost me a hell of a lot of money..

Hopefully they'll see me in two weeks time. If not, do you know anyone!??

Hotting up here!

2007-04-02T17:07:00.000+02:00

Not only are things hotting up in the fuel competition, it feels like summer here.

My house is large French house built to withstand the heat living on the South-West coast. This is great when it is hot but the winter can get cold! For example, I work from home and today I have the heating on. I just went outside and it is hot!! I checked the thermometer on my window ledge, it states 32C in the sun. I should be grateful for not needing aircon!

Trying to spice up the fuelmyblog blog and am thinking of getting guest writers. It is a great way to communicate with the fuelers and sometimes a change is very welcomed, some decent writing would make it better I think..

Launching a new competition on fuel today

2007-03-28T15:23:00.000+02:00

We are launching a new competition on fuelmyblog today, entitled "view from my window".

My picture was taken from my front door today. It made me realise a few things, it looks really French our square or "place". I also realised how much I enjoy looking out of my window gazing at the world rushing by, right now, the birds are chirping and Spring is definitely in the air.

My Grandad

2007-03-13T18:33:00.000+01:00

I just started a blog with my family. We are all going to try "interview" my Grandad weekly and add his photos to the stories. As most of his youth was spent fighting for his country, it may take a route towards the war. We don't know yet.

One thing is for sure, it is hard to realise that the frail man I love actually lived everyday as it was his last from the age of 18 to around 24. He has always spoken of the war, only now, reading his memoirs do I really understand what life must have been like.

His blog is http://alfslife.blogspot.com

The strangest story I have read in 13 years

2007-03-09T16:44:00.000+01:00

I am over in the UK for a few days to speak with my new team behind my new website and with the family and I just read the most bizarre story!! This story came up, and I had to write about it, these things only happen once or twice in a lifetime..

I bought the sun newspaper this morning and read this headline:-

"Mechanic: I have sex with cars".

WHAT!!! I read again, the sun had written a whole article about it, turns out a guy called Chris Donald (why are they all called Chris Donald!!), a mechanic that lives in "The West Country" (that is South-West of England) claimed that he has had sex with over 30 different models of car, two motor boats and a jet ski. He even has a website...

Well that's it for me. I must be dreaming everything right now! Oh, you don't believe me? Read it for yourself...

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007110349,00.html

Oh and please take a look at www.fuelmyblog.com too.

I have been away too long

2007-03-06T15:04:00.000+01:00

Sorry I have been away so long, I have been creating www.fuelmyblog.com , now I have relaunched it and I think it looks great.

So, after reading over 2000 blogs I have decided to change directions with this blog.

From now on, I am going to review restaurants and bars in La Rochelle and London.

If you have been to any, feel free to mail me your review.

They will be honest reviews so if you own a restaurant or bar and see the review here and don't like it, make sure you get it right next time we visit!

10 Different ways to get more Blog Readers including a photo of your lunch!

2007-01-18T14:36:00.000+01:00

This is direct from my other blog over at www.fuelmyblog.com . I must appologise for the lack of posts recently, normal service will resume soon!

After reading over 400 blogs in the past two weeks, launching http://www.fuelmyblog.com/ I now am able to offer some blogging advice! What works for me may not work for you but I am open to debate here as a new 'power reader!'

1. Don't just post "Paid for" or "Sponsored Posts", slide them in among good personal posts.

2. Use classy photographs - not blurred images.

3. Always write when sober!

4. Try to be the first with news - I broke Beckham leaving Spain before the BBC!

5. If nothing happened that day, don't say "nothing happened today" - If I read a blog for the first time and see that, I wouldn't go back again, would you?

6. Write about your everyday life, getting to work, shopping, we may be in different areas of the World, different cultures are interesting.

7. Don't just talk about your kids.

8. Allow comments

9. Make sure your template is easy to read.

10. Take photo of your lunch, we all eat and I find it interesting! Mine is below, feel free to add a photo of yours!

Be sure to digg this!
http://digg.com/offbeat_news/10_Different_ways_to_get_more_Blog_Readers_including_a_photo_of_your_lunch

Breaking Beckham News

2007-01-10T15:21:00.000+01:00

14.21pm - David Beckham is leaving Real Madrid.

Confirmed by Real Madrid Sporting Director.

This is breaking news and I am the first to mention it on a blog here.

Who will sign him now?

I bet Spurs. What do you think, next door to Beckingham Palace.

If you are a blogger add your blog to www.fuelmyblog.com Free.

A great story!

2007-01-08T15:30:00.000+01:00

I am currently very busy reading other blogs trying to make sure the ad's on fuelmyblog aren't spam, I came across this blog (not yet an advert) and it made me think. Take a look!

http://zog.typepad.com/malaysia/2006/10/rats_for_dinner.html

In summary, all about cooking up and eating rats!!

Have a look and leave me a comment!

The 25th Most Influential Person in the world is..

2007-01-06T23:00:00.000+01:00

According to Jade Goody on celebrity Big Brother it is......

Her(?)

The most 25th influential person in the world.

Fact.

More so than...who?

Who has more influence than her is the question.

Come on then, tell me...who is more influential than the Goody?

I can only think of around 20 million people...Let me know what celeb is less influential..maybe that'll be easier?

Look at this great review of my site

2007-01-06T19:05:00.000+01:00

I didn't mean to mention it again, however, take a look at this review:-

http://cyberpartygal.blogspot.com/2007/01/free-advertisement-on-great-wall-of.html

I love it!!

Fuelmyblog - Now Free to advertise

2007-01-06T18:37:00.000+01:00

I decided to make Fuelmyblog.com free to advertise for all bloggers.

I did it because ultimately, I wanted to create an index of all good blogs, by charging, I would be unfairly giving people that blog for money an advantage.

What is my angle?

Ultimately, fuelmyblog.com is quickly becoming more than a hobby, it is time consuming reading over all blogs added. I need to manually check for content and quality. I will be asking companies to sponsor the site as time goes on. My first few days have proved to be quite fruitful in terms of traffic. my alexa ranking peaked at 64,521 yesterday. This is due mainly to press releases and the effort put into promoting the free adverts.

So, over the next couple of weeks, I'll keep you updated.

Don't forget to get your free blog advert www.fuelmyblog.com

The Sun Newspaper

2007-01-06T00:45:00.000+01:00

So, I am still awake, it is nearly 1am in France. I am launching the new site fuelmyblog.com (more later) and I thought I'd read the Sun for the first time in weeks, online.

Now is it me but...They are a bite behind aren't they? http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,4-2007000558,00.html I mentioned this Britney Spears thing on the 22nd December. Come on the Sun. You must surely have more to mention than that???

Attn. The Sun Newspapers.

Why not employ me to work for you? I three weeks ahead of the stories you publish!!

No seriously, I miss the old currant bun. A little bit of sport and celeb bullshit never hurt anyone. .did it?

The final ashes 2006/7

2007-01-05T00:56:00.000+01:00

Ok, 131/9 after 25 minutes. Shane Warne is clapped on.

Absolutely disgusting.

England should now offer every single penny they have been collectively paid and donate it to charity.

English cricket, football and rugby is at an all time low...We can;t even win at darts or snooker.

No. I am finished. I am sick of watching overpaid 'stars' under performing.

KP advertising watches in the London Underground, what gives him the right?

Freddie and his overflowing pots of cash?

Beckham's millions, no. Show me a cup or trophy, I will come back.

COME ON ENGLAND...LET'S STOP THE ROT. No more, you want to see our fight and character as fans, you gotta earn it.

So, from now , I am launching "Watch England for free until they win in any sport!"

What do you think?

Is Desperate Housewives Sex in the Suburbs?

2007-01-03T23:19:00.000+01:00

So, it is half ten and Channel 4 has just started the new Desperate Housewives series.

Am I the only person that fails to see any difference between that and Sex and the City?

I for one will not be watching the new series. It is so bad it's untrue. Now I am sure I will get loads of responses saying how good it is. My Sister-in-law watches it, she is French!

Just let me know what it is I am supposed to watch.

Ta!

Watch the Ashes Live and free - the links!

2007-01-01T23:11:00.000+01:00

Hi all

I have had stacks and stacks of people asking for the ashes links. Well, here they are, all I ask for is that you put a thanks in the comments section with an email so I can let you know if anything changes..oh and visit www.fuelmyblog.com (and email everyone please!)

Firstly, download the program Free here http://www.sopcast.com/download/ .

Once downloaded, watch the cricket live here : http://cricket4u.net/

How much do you love me!!!

Don;t forget leave some comments and mails.

All the best and come on England!

New Year Hangover?

2007-01-01T12:31:00.000+01:00

So..here we are again, facing a new year. The above picture is there to cheer me up today!

What will happen in the next year depends on what you do. How many have decided to stop smoking, how many have quit the booze? One thing is for sure, today is the first day of the year. Celebrate it, enjoy it and get ready for a big year.

My predictions for 2007:-

1. A famous young celebrity will die because of crack addiction, shocking the world into doing something about it.

2. Fidel Castro will die and Cuba will become part of the USA.

3. Bin Laden will be found dead in a big city.

4. The spice girls to take over the world's music scene.

5. Robbie Williams to get married to an equally big celeb and divorce within three months.

6. Britney Spears to make some music.

7. Spurs to make it to the Champions League and win UEFA Cup.

8. Fuelmyblog.com will be the next big thing.

9. I will do a triathlon..somehow!

10. Finally...a major political leader to be assassinated, the world to be in shock like JFK.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The Ashes - Live Streaming

2006-12-28T11:22:00.000+01:00

I have been in-undated with requests about how to watch the ashes live on the PC over the past few days.

I am going to break a few hearts I think now but...I am in the UK until Friday. I have no access to the free cricket web site as it is at my house in France. I sent the links over but the email never arrived. I will try to retrieve the link from somebody that I sent it to before.

I am very sorry.

I will email personally everyone that asked me for the link, next Saturday. I know it is no good then, but I hope that it helps for the future as they'll be other cricket matches that are only shown on satellite.

Hope your Christmas went well..

50 million blogs are saying this right now

2006-12-24T13:48:00.000+01:00

So, finally this week rounds up with a

Merry Christmas to all!!

I am flying back to UK in an hour or two.

My blog will be written from there next week, I wonder if anything has changed about us and the UK since leaving? One thing is for sure, to all you burglars out there, my house has a house sitter (cousin over here in France had his flat burnt down two weeks ago), so don't bother breaking in!!!

You'll find out here next week what our feelings about the UK are now..

All the best!

My blog is getting more readers!

2006-12-23T13:45:00.000+01:00

When my site went live yesterday, www.fuelmyblog.com, I have gained an extra 49 readers. That is 49 more readers before launching to the public.

If I am right, www.fuelmyblog.com should almost guarantee more readers for everyone advertising. I am not most read blog either on the site either.

Does £50 represent good value for money? Well, the only reason I set up this site was to find more blogs to read and get more to read mine. I have already achieved that. £50 represents a one off payment. The site is guaranteed to be live for 5 years. Is £10 per year a lot of money?

You need to decide what you want to achieve out of your blog. Do you want more readers? Do you want to make money from your blog? Do you want to get your blog published as a book? Ultimately, if www.fuelmyblog.com generates more readership, you will achieve what you want.

If you have already advertised or want to advertise, think of this first. The only way people will find out about this site is if we all write about it. The more links to it, the more hits we all get.

Today has seen the launch of my press release, at the time of writing, over 3,000 PR agencies have picked up on it. I will keep promoting the site but without good write ups, none of us will gain any advantage.

Have a great Christmas and keep on blogging!

Flying home for Christmas?

2006-12-22T09:33:00.000+01:00

The BBC this morning put a bit of a dampener on things.

Every domestic flight cancelled....fog set to stay until Christmas...no flights....sleeping in tents..

Ok so I made the last bit up but hey!

I am due to fly to the UK on Sunday with my brood. Hearing things like that really worries you when you need to get home!

You see, all of my kids presents are in the UK. Just the kids. I am off in a minute to get the adults. Imagine if we don't get back...The kids will have nothing, in fact, see my earlier blog, they will get an orange!!!

But seriously, what would I do?

No idea. None whatsoever. I couldn't drive back, that would take 12 hours and not even be sure of getting on the train. I heard that the UK road network is snarled up this morning too (no surprise).

So, I am going to ring my friends at Ryanair and see if the will change my tickets free as they mentioned on their website this morning. If they say no, and our flights are cancelled, we are in danger of letting the Santa truth out once and for all..and that, won't be easy to tell!

Britney Spears - Can somebody tell me what she does?

2006-12-22T09:20:00.000+01:00

Ok, so today I am asking a simple question.

What does Spears do?

Britney Spears is in every paper in the English speaking world every day. She is still in the top five searched terms on the web. Yet, every time I read about her, she just seems to be drunk or showing 'things' ladies shouldn't (unless wife or girlfriend or in Diamonds and Pearls in London!). Ask me about lapdancing, I could tell you some stories!

So, as Christmas is here and things have slowed down, I thought i'd do a little google on her myself. The number one site - of course - is hers. I got as far as the homepage and saw the following:-

Her homepage is a kind of apologetic attempt to justify showing her bits and getting drunk..Also thanking an underwear company for covering her up..so there's a couple of million in sponsorship!

If anyone is reading this from Calvin Klein, I could get my nuts out time after time for a million pound cover up?

So, apart from getting obviously paid to show herself by underwear companies, what else does Miss Spears do? Apart from some form of perfume she released?

Not a lot really. Why do I care, well I don't really, it's just that I don't really understand why Britney Spears is googled so much.

Yeah I do, I just added to the stats...maybe that's why?

How many shopping days until Christmas?

2006-12-21T20:16:00.000+01:00

It confuses me! Every day, another advert..only xxx number of days left to get your presents. You go online, there are even less, who leaves it to the last minute these days?

Is it just me?

I've got nothing yet. Actually, that is a lie. I got my sons lego starwars thing posted to the UK a few weeks back.

For the rest of my family, you are going to have to wait and see! See what is in the shops tomorrow. My guess is that they'll get (from me) a big bowl of nuts, couple of oranges (just like the old days)..

Wait a second, did you really get a couple of oranges and a few nuts? I would love to have some fact here on this. I reckon that the nuts would have been expensive, if life was like that, didn't the dad make stuff out of wood? A gun for example? I grant you, that is a good gun!

Christmas can't have been anything to look forward to, eat an old bit of bird, couple of veg, an orange a couple of nuts. no...I don't believe it. Dad or Mum must have made something?

My Dad would have made me something, he did in the 70's, we weren't hard up, he made me things..

So come on then, what did you really get?

Launching Now! Fuelmyblog.com

2006-12-21T20:10:00.000+01:00

It has happened.

I have spent the past two days on the phone to my web guys.

We are, they tell me, ready to launch.

Press release goes out Saturday. My blog site..

www.fuelmyblog.com

Take a look, I am giving away the first 10 spaces free.

Blogging - How many of us do it?

2006-12-20T17:26:00.000+01:00

So, today's blog was going to open the debate about veil wearing in the UK. I can't start it yet as I don't know for sure what the story is here, it seems that a criminal escaped from Blighty wearing a veil. Once there is more info, I will address this with a debate.

So, onto today's topic. Blogging.

I was wondering just how many people blog? I have read reports that around 50 million are doing it. If that is fact, and the biggest blogging country is France, why is it that I have not met another blogger yet?

I love them. My wife reads them, and she seeks all sorts of advice from them.

Is the blog the greatest tool that is the result of the Internet? When you think of the Internet, you think of news and shopping. Blogging brings it all to you but normally, it is matter of fact and from the heart.

Blogging in the new documentary. I wonder how long before there is a blogumentary series on TV. Maybe there already has been. Let me know.

I would like some real stats on blogging, if you have any, post them in the comments.

New to blogging - this is big

2006-12-19T23:58:00.000+01:00

Ok. I have to admit, I now have the next big thing.

My people are instructed and my team is ready.

If you have a blog, you'll need to mail me quickly, the first ten get it free. I am investing a lot of money in this.

What is it? You'll find out soon.

Check out my logo:-

Send a mail to my team if you want in before I start..

info@fuelmyblog.com

The Ashes -What sport can we beat Australia at?

2006-12-17T21:38:00.000+01:00

That's it then. The noose is being tied up ready to drop around the necks of the English cricket team.

I tried to be more positive about the Ashes, I really hoped that the English team would stand up and be counted. I think they performed well in this, the third test.

I just think that luck had a major part in this (soon to be) defeat. We had none. The boys all seemed to be up for this one. Too late really, the Ashes were won in the second test.

England should have won the second test to add pressure to the Aussies. I think at one all before the third, the pressure on the old guard that is Australia would have shown.

It didn't and I am left contemplating what might have been..Along with millions of Brits, we have to go to work tired now, and also Ashes-less.

It's funny how you can cope with tiredness when there is hope.

Now there is no hope.

No hope of me staying up 'til 5am anymore, I have to earn a living and get working. No more passing out on my laptop at 2pm.

The love affair is over..until the next test..then, it will be for fun, not mine thought.

So I am left contemplating one thing, what sports are we better than Australia at? First to spring to mind is Football, the last time we played the Aussies , we lost 3-1. Then I look to rugby, yes we won 'that match' but since then...

I am leaving this open...you tell me..

Triathlon and Running - What is it all about?

2006-12-16T10:50:00.000+01:00

I have recently started running. I am taking up the triathlon next year and as somebody that hasn't run for nearly twenty years, this is the discipline I need to work hardest on.

Running

I hate it. My first run was with my Wife. Our kids were at school, it was a Saturday morning and guests were not due until after lunch. We ran around three minutes before my acting started, you know the acting you need to do when you are trying to show no pain or failure.

Mine was both acting and failure. It hurt. It hurt my lungs, my legs and my shoulders. I could even taste blood from somewhere!

We carried on for nearly five kilometres. That is a long way for the first time. Only when we got to our destination did I realise just how much pain I was in. I did the "let's stop and stretch" trick. Just to get some breath and try to get some life into me!

The five kilometres back was part walk, part run. The part run was especially useful when other people were running towards me, like the token 70 year olds. Why are there always 70 year old running when I go out?

By the time our guests arrived, I couldn't stand up or walk very easily. That night, I felt like crying!!! The next day sitting down hurt, not my bum but my legs and the motion of doing it killed me!

It took one week to get over the excruciating pain. One week, where is the fun in that?

Still, I ran it again the week after, it still hurt. Now, I thought, I must have picked up some kind of injury years ago, it shouldn't be that bad!

I am still running now, about a month and a half after starting. I am upto running twice easily per week and about to step up to three times next week. I am running around 7k in just over 35 minutes now...getting there finally. I just cannot stand running, it feels like hard work and indeed is hard work!

Swimming

I swim a couple of times per week and can do a mile in around thirty minutes, this equates to 1.5k or in a pool, 32 Olympic lengths or 64 in a standard 25 metre pool. I am happy to swim, enjoy the benefits of living five minutes walk from an Olympic size pool and ten minutes to the sea on foot. This part is my banker, I need to speed up and go an extra five minutes quicker, but this will happen when I take some advanced lessons.

Cycling

I need to do more of this but in fairness, haven't had a spare weekend since August and this has not really helped. I can ride 20k flat out in around 35 minutes, so I need to increase this dramatically but all said and done, this doesn't hurt and I just need practice.

So in conclusion, I am sitting here in my shorts, sweating after this mornings run by the ocean. I think the fact that I can now run through the pain barrier has helped me hugely.

If anyone has any tips to offer me on how to speed up my swim, i'd appreciate it. If am off this afternoon to do a mile and see what reaction I have in my legs!!!

The Ashes 2006 - the best supporters in the world?

2006-12-15T23:11:00.000+01:00

Can England still do it?

It is my second day of watching it live on the internet.

After this morning? I don't think so. I would say that Ponting is in for the duration now, no chance of getting him out.

I watched it live on my PC whilst working this morning, I really thought we had the chance.

Sadly it seems to be drifting out of our hands. The Aussies are jeering and cheering but all the time, barmy army is clapping and chanting.

Are we Brit's the greatest losing supporters in the world? I hope not, but I have seen too many a tear shed after losing something in sport, whether it be a penalty shoot-out or a missed try, we always lose when we expect or deserve to win.

I pose this question..are us Brits the best and most loyal supporters in the World?

French Store Security Guards - Secret Agent Material?

2006-12-15T22:34:00.000+01:00

It is official, the store guards in France are the recruited because of one thing...lack of discretion.

Think hard, think long and hard, when you have been in any superstore or cd shop like Fnac in France, what is the first thing you notice??

Is it the wonderful displays on show?

The tantalising produce?

The smells?

No, no and no..it is the undercover security guard. I say undercover, I should say plain clothes. Even today I had an experience, to be honest, I do every time.

Normally you enter a small store like Monoprix and he is there. Leaning against a display. Staring right at you.

If you notice him (and it always is a him in France) he will look away painfully, like he has been caught.

It doesn't stop there, he will follow you..like a stalker. If you dare touch a product, his face will be one inch behind you, trying to smell the fear!

They always wear the loudest outfits too. My local undercover guard in Monoprix is a very funny black guy, he talks to everyone that has been more than twice before (keep an eye out for him when you visit La Rochelle, he'll be there) but his outfits for me maketh the man. Last week he had an army type undercover jungle tracksuit on and this week, the whitest shell suit (tracksuit) you have ever seen. The guy is day glow! A bit like the bloke below, check out the discreet earpiece!

Today's experience?

My Son and I went to Carrefour to buy some 'bits and bobs'. (The main reason was due to the roughness of toilet paper here and we needed something to help us)....anyhow! My Son wanted to take his World Cup 2006 annual in with him to read (for those outside the UK, an annual is a glossy book that comes out, normally, every Christmas and is based upon comics books or BD's en France). The security guard jumped on us "What is this" (he said it in French) and I told him that it was my Son's book, in English and not for sale in his store so not to worry. He kind of smiled, more grimaced and said "ok, off you go".

They then followed us around the hypermarket and made sure we safely got his book into my car!!!

I once got arrested trying to buy razors for my Father-in-Law, again by the security guard genius...if you want to know what it is like to get arrested in France for nothing by a day-glow champion, let me know!!

Let me know your experiences, they will be in my book!

The Friday Question

2006-12-15T15:48:00.000+01:00

So, I work in an office and get bored too!

Every Friday afternoon, I am going to post a question, please add a comment and let me know what you think the answer is.

This week, as it is Christmas soon, I thought it would be topical!

Q. Who invented lights to go on Christmas Trees, What year and What country?

It is an easy one (because you are going to use google!!) so, please answer, subscribe to my blog by clicking the orange thing on the right, and next week i'll post a difficult one every day (as nobody is really working next week are they!!!).

The Ashes - I am watching the third series live and free online !

2006-12-14T09:23:00.000+01:00

I DID IT...AND SO DID HE!!!

I have worked out how to watch the cricket free and live online. It is a major achievement for me, I have been searching for this for ages, weeks and probably months.

I can now watch the ashes live on my pc for free. I can also watch football, everything!

Don't pay the websites to watch it, i will send a link free, you must put your email address and a relevant comment on this page...No nice , non-spam comments about cricket or my blog, no FREE Ashes cricket!

Must dash, Monty is bowling and has just taken his fifth wicket!!

(It is crystal clear too!!) Please add comments that are decent and non-spam, I will send you a link to the best streaming feed I have ever seen, no scam, no spam. Thanks.

My first night photo of Ile De Re bridge

2006-12-14T00:08:00.000+01:00

This is my first attempt of taking a photo with a 2 second shutter speed. (I think there must be a term for it). I would like to know what you think of it. If you have any tips etc. I have no tripod but found a nice wooden post to put my camera on.

It's official - I am giving away free flights to every small business in the UK!

2006-12-13T23:48:00.000+01:00

I have just been checking my business web site (www.findyourfleet.com) and it is official, when you google it, you can see I am giving free flights away. I want to invite people over to stay here in La Rochelle or in fact anywhere.

I really want to.

I am trying to get people to give me the chance to save them money, those people who run a business that have a fleet of vehicles..

I am not selling a scam.

Ah well, I guess it is just those that trust me that benefit..

What offers or schemes have you tried to enhance your website and grow business?

I know you read this so please comment.

Thanks!

Our First week in France - Car fires and stake-outs

2006-12-13T19:02:00.000+01:00

I mentioned in a previous post that I would tell about the experience I had during the first week here in La Rochelle. Well, to continue and recap!!

Our first night in La Rochelle, a Monday, was not simple, not calm and not nice! We all slept on one double mattress (Me, the wife and kids!) we had a hard day moving, I drove for eight hours etc etc etc.

Oh and there were three cars on fire in the street...

As you can imagine, I wasn't really in the mood to stay in France but as we were so physically exhausted, and the reality was that we couldn't do anything about it, we started 'le grande' unpack. Five solid days of living in a melange of boxes and bubble wrap. It is so tedious moving but so satisfying when unpacked. It was now Friday evening and my parents were due to visit us for that weekend, to see how we'd settled in and if all the tears we had shed were worth it or not.

After a few drinks, nice meal and a few glasses from the 'digestif' cupboard, we all headed off for bed. I hadn't slept since the day we arrived in France, mainly due to fear of more random car burn-outs, the occasional creak or two within the house (far larger than any house I have ever been in) and the fact that I can never sleep until it feels like home. I took a sleeping tablet.

The next thing I knew was a kind of gentle tap or two near my front door. I was in a bizarre drunken sleepy state, wasn't sure if the taps were reality or in my screwed up knackered mind. One thing for sure, I'd had three hours sleep and the tablet was nearly working. I laid still and did that thing you do when trying to listen, held my breathe! So amongst my gasping for air and silence, I did hear the noise. It was a kind of random knock, well not a knock, a tap.

I thought I should take a look out of my office window as this faces the square and overlooked my car and front door. To my utter horror, I saw a torch light beaming randomly in the back window of my car. Those bastards are not burning my car. No way. I am not the bravest man around, far from it. I am comedy. Not this time, the sleeping pill gave me a sense of aggression and bravery that i'd never felt before. I took a deep breath and decided that I would tackle them.

I crept downstairs, in my pants, and prepared myself to open the front door. I thought that if I startled them, I would have the upper hand. I also figured that I had more chance of getting the first punch in!! I stood behind the door, took a deep breath and realised that whoever it was is sitting on my step. Shit..shit shit shit..Deep breath again. This time, I am going to put a stop to this..I opened the door as quickly as I could...

A skin head with the face of a battered rugby player jumped up...shit...he was a tramp I thought..a nutter maybe..In my best drunken, sleepy French I asked "c'est qui ca?" which means who is it, he looked at me with a kind of scared yet alarmingly cool nutter type expression. He opened his mouth and spoke "n'ais pas peur monsieur" don't be scared sir? Don't be fucking scared? I am standing in the street in my pants talking to a crazy tramp about to burn down my car, don't be scared!!

Then he said it again and again..by now, i'd realised that his voice was kind of teenagerish, he had quite a high pitched voice. Really didn't suit his hard look! "Je suis le Police" he said. Yeah right, of course you are the Police I thought. He showed his ID card..yup, he was the Police.."encore" I said, show me it again..He got out the ID card again and pulled his ragged overcoat to one side, yes, it was all there, the badge, the cuffs, the gun..GUN!!!

This was mad, now he'd shown me his gun, I felt comfortable. Standing in the street in my pants. Really bloody comfy! Anyhow, now I felt I ought to ask some questions. Why was he here, turned out he was pretending to be a tramp and wait for more arsonists. Ok ok, I said, I got that part, that made sense, but there was a torch light in the back of my window, what was that?

"Ahh..." he was now trying to speak English "Zis is mah torsshhh..zerr izz a spider on mon edd" What? I asked him to say it in French, yes, it was true, this hard nut with a gun was looking for a spider that had landed on his head. Discretely so as not to scare off the potential arsonists, he got his torch out. Terrific I thought, these guys can shoot you but shit themselves when they see a spider. I made my excuses and left him to it. I went back to bed.

I got into bed and woke my wife up...She lifted her head and said "why are you talking to people outside at four in the morning, can't you just sleep like normal people".."You'll never guess what just happened to me" I began..

Pixelotto - true statistics from my advert

2006-12-13T18:46:00.000+01:00

So, here is the latest statistical update. I know it seems I am obsessed with this site but I want to see if anyone else is getting good responses or not? These are stats from the site:-

Total clicks: 202 (includes 119 clicks by registered Pixelotto players)
This advert received its first click on 05 December 2006.
Average clicks per day since then: 22
Clicks by day
05 Dec 06 41
06 Dec 06 45
07 Dec 06 21
08 Dec 06 20
09 Dec 06 13
10 Dec 06 7
11 Dec 06 23
12 Dec 06 21
13 Dec 06 11

The fact is that my site has had a real total of 70 according to google analytics.

What is true? I suspect that the edge has gone from Pixelotto. If you look at the site, not much is happening, very few new adverts. My theory is that for Pixelotto to succeed now, Alex Tew needs to spend some money on advertising or promotion.

Now its your turn, how many hits have you had??

Our last visitors this year....back to the beginning

2006-12-08T17:19:00.000+01:00

This weekend is our last weekend of having guests this year. So far we have had just one free weekend since August!

We don't mind, we like having guests.

I would like to thank all of our guests that have been here, most have been great, helpful and not at all stressful. There have been some funny stories, of course, but I must keep my hat on most, one or two of the stories I can mention. Like the one when I put fake poo in my Grandad's room..I'll tell you those another day.

Now, it is a time for reflection. I will soon be able to explain the first day we arrived in La Rochelle..No sod it, lets do it now:-

The very first night in La Rochelle was bizarre. We arrived completely knackered. We had to move ourselves in a stretched transit van. The contents of my house were in storage in a place around one hour from here. I guessed it would take me two journeys, how wrong can a man be.

I picked up the van at half six in the morning and set off alone to fill it up, luckily for me, Yann, my wife's cousin was waiting to help. It took one and a half hours to fill up. Hardly making a dent on our stuff, we depressingly drank a litre of manky tap water. We were soaked with sweat in the summer heat.

We then drove to La Rochelle, it was an hours drive door to door, this part was the rest part for us! Unloading took another fourty minutes..then, as if by magic, back in the van to do it all again..

I would always recomend using a professional company, we couldn't, it was August, nobody works here in August.

Anyhow, four trips and half ten at night later....we were starving, had no food in the house, and tired. This was to be my first and last McDonalds in France. I felt guilty but oh so hungry! Two large glasses of Pastis later, asleep..

"What the hell is that noise?" it was half five in the morning. I looked out into the square, there were two cars on fire, arsonists had done it, people were in their pyjamas and loads of Police. Bloody hell, shit, is my car ok? Mine was the only English one in the square, if there was going to be a target, it'd be mine.

Not a scratch. Mine was fine. "Don't unpack the boxes" I said to my wife "It's like Beirut out there..what a mistake, we are going back to England" I was serious, seriously tired and worried.

What happened next is the funniest thing that ever happened. I will tell all next week.

Pixelotto - I have bought some - the statistics so far

2006-12-06T14:51:00.000+01:00

Ok, I admit it, I bought some advertising space on www.pixelotto.com . I did it yesterday morning.

Why did I?

I wanted to see just how many hits you can get from the site. I have just had a comment on another post from a "Alessio" saying they have had 2,000 unique visitors after buying a banner. I have also read a blog with somebody saying they had 9,000!!

Is this actually spin from somebody at pixelotto or is it true? My site so far (first full day of advertising today) has had a total 69 hits from pixelotto. 69 unique visitors. Not 2,000 or 9,000 but 69. I bought three pixels at $600. Not cheap but worth it if I could achieve click through rate of 2,000 plus per day.

So, what about my true site stat's?

I have various tracking facilities in place and Lycos states my rate as 4 clicks from pixelotto today, 45 yesterday, that is 49 in total. Google analytics gives me a rate of 15 clicks yesterday and 8 today. Not really the thousands expected or heard about in the press.

Every day I will post an update on these figures giving you a true insight as to whether pixel adverts work or not! I would like to know if you have bought some adverts and what your real click through rate is.

PS. If you are interested, my banner says "find us", about my site findyourfleet. Can you see it?

Ashes to Ashes - lost at dusk

2006-12-05T17:08:00.000+01:00

I promised I would write about my attempts to catch the ashes on either TV or the internet after missing the entire first test. I said i’d write about it here. Where have I been? I have been listening to the whole lot via satellite radio.

The second test has been the biggest English cricketing disaster of all time. No team in history has lost after declaring on a higher total than England's 551-6 batting first in a Test. In history.. Period. That was the most dismal second innings in history.

Where did it go wrong?

The dressing room.

Every leader in every walk of life, whether it be sport, business, politics or any thing else needs the ability to motivate. While the England team are sitting looking at the tiled floor in their changing room with the Aussies screaming with joy next door, Freddie should pick himself up, chest out and read them the following quotes from real leaders:-

“Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.”
Sir Winston Churchill

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." Martin Luther King, Jr.

Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.Confucius

Although, I suspect that judging by the last couple of days action, he is reading the following by David Brent:-

“I thought I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it was just some b*stard with a torch, bringing me more work.”

“If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.”

“If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation.”

So, after this, what next? The series can still be won, ok, I am being optimistic but it can. We can win the next three tests but we need to sort out the bowling, we need to do that now. Once the bowlers are taking wickets, the heads will stay up. Look at KP near the end today, he overthrew a ball and gave and extra four runs. This was purely frustration and that must not be shown again.

Me, I live in France, ski season has just started and is getting coverage on TV, I guess i’ll have to watch that..yawn..

Ban smoking in France? It'll never work....

2006-12-04T13:34:00.000+01:00

We went out to lunch with some good friends of ours, Andy and Viv, yesterday.

We went to a really great restaurant, typically local menu, great value, €16.50 for three courses!

As we entered, we were asked "fumeur on non-fumeur", or in plain old English "smoking or not".

As we had our kids with us AND we don't smoke, we asked for non-smoking. We sat on the typically French plastic seats (bum sweaters) and looked at probably the best menu I have seen in a tourist area in France. We chose predominantly fish as we were facing the sea and quite frankly, fish is fresh and the local product. The smell coming from the kitchen was outstanding, it was the kind of smell that makes your mouth water and stomach rumble.

France is facing a no smoking ban next year. The problem in France is the concept of no-smoking, I think the ban may fail before it even starts..

We were sitting in the non-smoking area yesterday, my back was against a kind of painted trellis. You know the sort, a wooden screen like below:-

Now, if you had a brain just over the size of a grain of salt, do you think that the above would stop smoke hitting you? No. Of course bloody not. Well, by the time my starter of homemade fish soup arrived, a table of wrinkly rude French smokers aged around 60 years old decided to light up the fags, their table was against the other side of the trellis. Bastards. At what point did these selfish gits think that I wanted to eat with a tonne of smoke in my face? I tell you what, my son turned towards them, a seven year old, and started coughing, on purpose. What did they do, bugger all. Sod all.

I may sound a little angry but guess what, I won't go back, before the smoke squad arrived, I was going to book again, this Saturday for eleven, not now.

I am about to name and shame the restaurant, when it is searched for on Google, this review will appear, it is a shame but I think more people should name and shame horrid places to eat due to smoke. Anyhow, the place is called Terre et Mer, 12 rue de la chaine, La Rochelle. I hope they change the way they smoke out people like me, if they do change they can invite me back, i'll give it a first class review because the food was superb.

Will France be able to beat the smokers? I am just not sure they understand what no-smoking means.

Pixelotto - an update

2006-12-04T13:01:00.000+01:00

I was the first blog on the internet to talk about pixelotto.com, the new site by Alex Tew.

When I first mentioned it, this blog and the site itself were the only links on google, five days later there are now over 10,900 links on google.

The guy has once again created huge amounts of web talk and now it seems revenue. One thing to remember, getting this sort of publicity needs cash. He started the milliondollar site with a press release and a great unique idea, followed up with around £50k advertising, the other 'copy cat' sites try to exist off the back of his idea, will never work or generate the same form of income.

Why?

Now he has free traffic and people want to promote it free..just makes you sick doesn't it!

Wonder if there is a target market for this sort of thing in France, the land of cheese, wine and dog poo everywhere!!

Christmas is here

2006-12-02T09:25:00.000+01:00

"They don't celebrate it like we do, do they?" was the phrase I heard most whilst living in England.

It's true, in France, things do not start in July. They wait until the Christmas season. The street decorations aren't turned on until the first of December, shops don't have their displays until the last week of November.

When I left the UK in July, our local garden centre had just finished its Christmas display area...JULY!!! In July in France, they concentrate on the summer.

I am just off to the city centre where this weekend, La Rochelle are hosting the most glitzy Christmas celebrations I have ever seen. I feel suddenly submerged in a feeling of Christmas excitement, a feeling I haven't really had since I was a kid.

The adverts for toys and presents have just started in France, my children have just started to think about it, the UK news is saying things like "with Christmas just over three weeks away...shops are feeling the pinch.." That's right, it is three weeks away. No panic, there is loads of time to get presents.

My children have no activity plays at school this year, religion is not part of the French schools curriculum, but this term, they have worked. While I think it is good for the kids to do a play, work doesn't really exist at school for the final two months of the year in the UK.

What do I prefer? I am not sure, I always preferred the French build up and the English Christmas day. This year I am lucky, I get to do both.

I am going to leave this post open to debate, whether debate here or mentally.

Is it better in France or England?

Blogsvertise?

2006-12-01T14:53:00.000+01:00

I have just been surfing whilst eating my sandwich as one does at work when I came across the site http://www.blogsvertise.com/ . Have you had any experience with it? It looks like a site that pays you if you review an advertisers product. I am keen to find out more.

Watch this space for an update and maybe loads of reviews!

A virtual me?

2006-12-01T09:59:00.000+01:00

Pixelotto - Alex Tew of the milliondollar homepage returns

2006-11-30T20:39:00.000+01:00

Alex Tew, you will remember him as the young student that made a million bucks launching the milliondollar homepage is back. His new site is called www.pixelotto.com . He has launched a 'teaser' on the milliondollar website followed by a standard email sign-up form, requesting an opt-in (legal requirement).

I have a fair idea what pixelotto will be doing, he has a good PR agent behind him and I guess, we'll all be buying pixels on his new site www.pixelotto.com soon, as he is promising to make the public rich this time. Will we fall for it? Lets wait and see.

I am instructing his PR agent, also mentioned in his blog, to take a look at my offer coming out on Sunday, free flights for every SME in the uk. See my business www.findyourfleet.com for more details.

What's hot in the French world of music

2006-11-29T18:42:00.000+01:00

French music has taken its fair share of beatings in the past, every month, I am going to list the up and coming singers or groups or indeed those that you won't know that have already made it big here. I say I am, what I mean is that you are, I have no idea!

The stars of the future are currently singing for their keep every week on Star Academy. I predict a future for a couple of them, Cyril and Dominique...

Top French music at the moment is a real mixture of young talent and establish stars, both English and American music dominates but the future is not so bleak, the following are great:-

Anais - The Cheap Show (Use of electronic gadget called a jamman, only person on stage)

Anis - La Chance (very French music sung just as you would expect to hear in a cafe)

Charlotte Gainsbourg - 5:55 (Sexiest sounding English voice ever)

Olivia Ruiz - La Femme Chocolat (Was in Star Academy 1, quirky and fresh)

Kaolin - Melanger les couleurs (Rock band. New album. Cool)

Still, just watched Johnny Hallyday's Flashback Tour live on tv...I just keep pinching myself, is it one big dream..I just don't get it..French music that is..

Marketing a website with free flights?

2006-11-29T18:14:00.000+01:00

Is there an easy way to get my business site looked at thousands of times per day?

I am just about to launch a press release that will be seen by hundreds of thousands (my last was seen by 142,000) but how do I get them to click on my site?

Without buying this book, I'll need help!

I am talking to a couple of airlines and am going to be offering free flights to every SME business in the UK with a fleet of vehicles.

I have a business that supplies satellite navigation and also a world first product just being launched to the UK. http://www.findyourfleet.com

How can I get my Alexa rank higher and increase my daily hit rate?

Right now, my site is number one on google when I type the name of the site but I cannot get the hit rates up.

I have had loads of SEO emails and tag editors etc, there must be an easy way?

Any advice would be great.

I would be happy for someone to offer me some website tweaking advice!

Things you miss from home

2006-11-27T18:18:00.000+01:00

I have been thinking hard about what I miss from England.

Aside from the usual things like family and friends, I am trying to compile a long list.

I need as many comments as possible about what you miss from 'home'. Mine are as follows:-

Popadoms
KFC (of any shape or form)
Custard creams
Cadburys Chocolate
Hot curry
Chillie crisps
Good peanuts
Haslet
A real uk spring roll not a nem chinoise!
Bitter or real ale
Newspapers
Peanut butter
Ready meal
Cider

Please add to my small list by clicking on comments below, i'll include you in my book!

Still trying to catch the ashes

2006-11-27T18:01:00.000+01:00

Following on from my attempts to either watch or listen to the ashes, here are my details of the final two attempts of the first test..

Day 4

I spent most of the day trying to ascertain how I was going to stay up to watch the nights play.

I have failed miserably so far, first night couldn't find it online, second night fell asleep and alarm failed due to a power-cut, third night got blind drunk and passed out. The answer was staring me in the face.

Guests.

Since moving to France we have had a continuous flow of guests and this weekend wasn’t any different. Sitting in front of me was my ticket to staying up..Good conversation, good food and more importantly, best behaviour so not drunk or sleepy.

Perfect, first we had to eat the meal, to listen to as much cricket as possible (I have given up trying to watch this test) I needed to be up talking as late as possible. To ensure a long conversation, the food would need to be a never ending feast, tailing off around 1am (midnight in the UK). So, I bought and prepared the most bizarre ‘talking point’ dishes I could find.

Starting with fromage de tete (head cheese) which as the translation sounds, is pretty much anything that forms part of a pigs head, as a recipe, basically cook your pig's head and you strip off all the meat, the tongue, everything and then you pack it into a tureen with the gelatinized liquor it was cooked in..Sounds nice..This dish always takes the longest, you have to overcome various barriers to eat it!

We followed this up with various live courses and finished with the Mother of all cheese dishes, great, 12am and all conversation is dried out. Luckily for me, I have ‘access’ to UK tv via a dish and watched football on match of the day until 12.45am (France time) .

I’d cracked it, I was finally awake and sober enough to listen to the cricket. It is a huge sense of achievement when you finally make it. It almost took over my life!

I had done it, now I knew the recipe for success!

The cricket.

First hour, not edge of seat stuff, but the target was set, when declaring at 202-1, the Australians gave us the upper hand..we could do it..only 648 to win!!!

A little under one hour of batting from Enland had passed and everyone, commentators, websites and odds all seemed to be optimistic. Me? I was getting myself in a trance, watching the media player’s psychadelic background moves. It is hard to stay awake, it seems to take ages between bowls on the radio.

OUT! Strauss out for 11, Bell not long after. My fatigue started to set in, it was now 2.30 am.

I stayed with it until tea, 150-3. Only God and a bottle of Famous Grouse know how.

I’ll find out how they got on in the morning, too tired and now, a bit drunk, a kind a mixture of boredom and happiness to have made it! It was 5am.

Day 5

The noise started at 7am.

It felt like somebody was kicking me in the head.

The noise was coming from the square in front of my house. It is probably the most typically French square or ‘place’ you could imagine...until this morning. With two hours sleep under my belt and a small hangover to boot, I wasn’t in the best of moods. Opening the green shutters on my office window I saw loads of Police and an ambulance along with two huge tents, one filled with beds, one with bottles of water. The picture below is taken from my office in the house.

I guessed that I must still be either drunk or in shock, shock that I made it to listen to some of the ashes the night before. When, in the distance I could hear the faint sounds of a loadspeaker I realised what this might be.

The La Rochelle marathon was due to start at 9.30am.

Nobody told me that it would pass my front door.

After two hours sleep, a now pumping headache and after watching over 8,000 people jog past, many in silly outfits, I decided to check the result of the nights cricket.

293 - 5
Once again I missed the best bits. There is genuine belief that we could have pulled it off at some point last night and we could have got back into contention. It is all over now, I thought.

I tried to stay up and listen but to honest, I was so tired I didn’t make the re-run of Catherine Tate show at 10pm my time.

Australia won by 277 runs.

Suprised? Not really, in fact, I feel this could be a good thing.

England have shown that they have the talent and skill, they showed it in 2005, and we (you) saw glimpses of it on day four. All that is required now is to start in the right frame of mind and forget the past.

The ashes of 2005 will stay on our minds for a long time to come. If they win this series, and they can, they will go down as a truely great side and be mentioned in the same breathe as the football side of 1966.

If not, they will be likened to the England Rugby World cup winning side, a good team, once.

Ashes Hangover - How not to watch it online

2006-11-25T12:50:00.000+01:00

Day 3

Day 3 of the Ashes and I thought i'd try the "let's get drunk and listen live all night" trick.

Wrong. (There are various ways of staying awake - see my guide at the bottom).

I should have drunk coffee!

I started so well, two small bottles of beer, my homemade spicy crab linguine (recipe to follow another day unless you request it!) and a glass or two of white wine. Nothing too heavy, felt good and ready to listen to the cricket or track it down on the web. I felt good until my friend Pierre knocked on the door.

Pierre is from Northern France but spent one year in Brisbane, Australia. He speaks good English with an Australian accent. Bizarre but actually quite cool! Anyhow, he knew of my plight to watch cricket and believed he knew of a bar in La Rochelle that would be showing it.

Great I thought..

Five bars later and after sinking eight pints of 'wife beater' (Stella Artois), I found myself sitting in an Irish bar talking to a drunk landlord (owner of the bar) called George. By this time, I didn't even know what I was doing let alone remember to watch the cricket. After showing him my tricks including levitation and finding the card, I was paraletic..

Arrived home at half past two in the morning...Looked up Radio Five live on the web - only available to UK residents..Dug out my old radio and tuned it in on LW...Finally, I was going to do it. I was going to actually listen to some live Cricket..I heard Geoffrey Boycott, great, finally...

Passed out.

Missed the lot again.

Anyhow, back to cricket..

Can we win the ashes now after last nights show?

Yes.

We can win it but we need this early defeat to open our eyes. Maybe England believed that they deserved to win because of last years heroics, maybe they were too big for their boots, maybe Australia are just more determined to win it than England.

One thing is for sure, until Flintoff starts to 'out-captain' Ponting, we won't win. It is now resting on one mans shoulders, he is big enough to do this, come on Freddie, let's have it.

I think this should be the kick up the backside they need. .

Staying awake to watch the cricket (from Sky Sports site):-

1. Sleep - Get as much sleep as possible the night before.

2. Drink coffee intermittently - Have a cup at 2—3 am and a short 15 min nap. Use an alarm to wake-up to avoid ‘deep sleep’ kicking in. Walk around for a few minutes. Wash your face with cold water. Repeat at around 4-5 am.

3. Drink coffee continuously - Alternatively, have as much of this coffee as you are used to! But by not having naps you will be less able to stay awake the next day.

4. Avoid sugar - Unlike caffeine, sugar is not very effective in combating sleepiness.

5. Drink low sugar energy drinks - These are an effective substitute for those that don’t drink coffee.

6. Avoid heavy meals -There are no diets or foods that are particularly good at promoting alertness, but avoid ‘heavy’ and fatty meals in the small hours — they can cause bad indigestion.

7. Steer clear of alcohol - Alcohol worsens sleepiness: it is impossible to stay awake throughout the night and drink more than small amounts of alcohol.

8. Keep the lights on - The darker the room, the more likelihood you’ll nod off.

9. Stay warm - Your body naturally becomes cooler in the middle of the night.

Alternatively, watch tomorrow's blog for my next efforts.

The Ashes 2006 - Live online?

2006-11-24T09:39:00.000+01:00

Day 2.

I decided to stay up and watch the highlights show, then listen online to BBC Five Live's coverage. I fell asleep at 12.00am French time..Couldn't even make the first ball in the highlights show.

I woke up this morning at 5am French time (4am UK)and was determined to listen to the match unfold, live, on the radio. I went straight back to sleep and woke with the alarm at 7am. So yes, I have officially seen nothing and heard the final twenty minutes of the first two matches.

I am still searching for some live streaming online, it is totally boring listening to cricket on the radio. If you have never tried, don't. It is worse than listening to a party political broadcast. Terrible.

I am hoping that somebody reading this, and there are loads at the moment, can offer me some salvation. I need to watch the cricket live!

Tonight, I am going to try to see if my local Irish bar (always an Irish bar!!) has sky. I want to know if anyone has watched it live in the pub, you know, 24/7 drinking must make this possible? If so, I am considering flying back to watch some.

So, todays cricket..

Australia 602-9....WHAT?? The third highest total ever at the Gabba.

How did that happen? Who is to blame?

Apparently not Freddie, even though he is still recovering from the ankle surgery, he was our man of the match.

Harmison? 1-123..123 runs..God help us. Chin up Stevie..

I heard that Ponting 'out-captained' Freddie. That the Aussies had prepared for the match, mentally, physically and tactically, and that us 'Poms' didn't/haven't.

Now, it's not all doom and gloom. We only have to get 403 to save the follow-on.

That's right..only 403!! England are now 14/1 to win the ashes 2006. Now before we carry on, look at the odds in 2005 and how they changed..

So, as you can see, after the first game in 2005, England's odds were 12/1. What happened then?

Back to the todays game:-

53-3...When Warney bowled his one and only over, I heard fear in the commentators voices. He threw six balls!! We are in trouble, even though the wicket is still in our favour, we are in big trouble. As I predicted yesterday, we rolled over and died today too.

Only Freddie seems up for it, now it is time for KP to roll up his sleeves, take a deep breath, feel e passion flow, grit his teeth, dig deep and start smashing the ball out of the ground.

Come on!

PS. Bring Monty on next game???

Let me know what you think....I will let you know if I actually get to watch some tomorrow.

Ségolène Royal or Casino Royale?

2006-11-23T17:49:00.000+01:00

So, I have been watching France 3 news with interest over the past few weeks.

I have now arrived at the following conclusion. France's potential new leader was picked by Sony in order to promote their new film Casino Royale. If you say them quickly, they sound one and the same. I asked my wife a few days ago (I wasn't watching, just looking) "why do the French news channels keep going on non-stop about Casino Royale".

As a Brit, we are born with 007 in our roots, but the French??

"My darling" she said, a patronising righteous start "they are talking about Ségolène Royal, the lady that has just won the race to represent the Socialist party in the run for the presidency in 2007". "Who?" I needed to find out more about her, and why she was the first female ever chosen at this level. Am I, up until now, the only person to link Bond and French politics?

After some research, I have the following finding.

Ségolène Royal is the President of the region I live in, Poitou-Charentes. She is 53, has four children and sounds like the newley released Bond film.

Another thing, she is quite sexy. FHM in France voted her 6th out of world's top 100 sexy women.

Lets take a look at the following and who would you vote for:-

Exactly. A no-brainer.

So, in answer to my initial thoughts, I believe either of the two reasons I have presented means she is now going to win the next election and be France's new President next year..Let's face it, Monsieur Chirac is 71 now, and certainly not sexy.

What do you think?

Is Sony films playing a part in the win or something to do with being sexy?

Or maybe, just maybe, her beliefs?

The Ashes 2006 - Watch it online

2006-11-23T08:05:00.000+01:00

It has started. The ashes 2006 in Australia has finally started...

Excitement is at its highest again, testosterone levels are raised, chests expanded and the Barmy Army have started chanting in Melbourne...not that I can watch it...

......anywhere.

I surfed the web until 11.45pm (French time) looking at every possible site that might show some sort of live streaming, nothing..What I thought i'd do was get up early and listen to it on BBC Radio 5 dead (live sorry).

7.15am..there has been a power cut, sod it, missed the bloody lot. The score..346-3.

The hero, Ponting.

Bugger.

I knew in my heart that we'd roll over and die but not this easily.

How annoying is it that since Sky have bought the rights to cricket, the average person is now forced to wait up until 11.45pm to watch highlights on BBC 2. That is 12.45am for me. No chance. That's it. All I can do this year is listen to match reports on Talksport.

If anyone has managed to watch the cricket online, please let me know..

I would like to know what you think, will England retain the ashes? After listening to some reports, I'd say no, but what do I know, I have to rely on the press!

Dog Poo in France

2006-11-21T08:39:00.000+01:00

So on to todays hot topic...well warm normally..

Dog poo.

Why is it that 70% of the population of France have dogs and yet only 1% carry any sort of bag to clean up the mess? As time goes by, and we are adjusting to life in France very easily, the only problem we encounter on a daily basis is dog poo...everywhere. Why do the French in general not clean up after their chien?

I am not joking, every street had piles of the stuff. I have no idea what these 'mutts' are fed but I swear some of the piles glow.

What can we do about it? Apart from writing to the Mayor and posting all manor of comments on forums, I am thinking of marketing the following:-

A nappy for dogs. Would the French be happy to dress their pets with one? I am not sure but I for one am on a crusade!

I would love to hear from some French that have dogs that regularly poo everywhere, why do you do it???

To buy one, click the link below!

http://www.petgadgets.com/contentpage.cfm?Content_ID=91&interview_id=57

Friday afternoon...what are you doing?

2006-11-17T12:37:00.000+01:00

Friday afternoon in France is not the same as it was in London. Fact!

In France, people still work on fridays. In London it is all about drinking!

I am writing this, listening to Talksport on the web and just about to start a marketing campaign.

How exciting!!

What are you doing?

Skype is taking over our life!!!

2006-11-14T17:54:00.000+01:00

Before I start to ramble on about Skype, the next chapter will be on tomorrow, you remember, the one where we go to Cuba and change our lives. After this, the funniest stories you will read will follow.

(PS went to my Dentist today, it is confirmed, I am going fishing with him, another story has started to take shape today...it seems I am going dancing on Friday with some ambassador's wives..I hate dancing, my wife asked me to go and I have no idea why!!!!!)

Anyhow Skype.

Since moving to France, we have had a different member of my family or my wife's stay with us every weekend. Yes, it's official, we are La Rochelle's only free hotel! No seriously, we don't mind, but we have guests all the time..right now, fully booked 'til Christmas! But one thing I have noticed is that for an expat, you have to talk to everyone a lot more. When we lived in the Uk, a call or 'pop-in' may only last five minutes, now, it has to last half an hour minimum!!

What about Skype?

Skype rings throughout our house all day everyday. It is ringing now..the noise makes me mad. What do they want? The routine is now as follows:-

"Thanks for the weekend" call from the outgoing guests.
"Do you want anything brought out?" call from next weekends guests.
"How were they?" call from relatives about the outgoing visitor.
"Did I leave my..?"call back from outgoing visitor
"Can we come..?"call from another relative or visitor
"What's the weather like?" call from yet another relative
"Want new windows?" call from some random window company that got hold of my Skype out number

This is typical of our lives now, every night another role call of questions from either friends or family. I am trying to get everyone on a Sykpe conference call next time. I may be able to eat before 10pm!!

Has Skype made things too easy to keep in touch? Was life better before free phone calls? I am wondering whether to host Skype conference calls for families abroad!!! Will it work or am I going mad!!!! Let me know and help my sanity, do you find yourself glued to Skype?

Anyhow, my next post will be about Chapter two of the book, but make sure to read over the weekend. I may just find out why I am going dancing with the ambassador of Gabon's wife...I don't even know where Gabon is!

Is a map easier than Sat Nav?

2006-11-10T13:08:00.000+01:00

I have just driven two hours in the wrong direction whilst using sat nav in France!!! At least I paid attention and the below didn't happen to me!!

I grant you this is not a normal thing to do, drive two hours in the wrong direction but hey, I am in a country that is still foreign to me!! It happened when I was told "turn left in 200 metres" I duly did this, had no map on me and trusted it. Once you get on a motorway and it says "try and do a U turn" you are in trouble. The 'arrow' on my screen stated 60km to next junction..Great!!!

I am now asking the question, could you drive to a location using Sat Nav alone or do you need to have a map next to you? Do you trust Sat Nav entirely?

By this I mean, if you drove using Sat Nav and looked at no road signs, how often would you go in the wrong direction?

I sell GPS tracking (www.findyourfleet.com) for a living and this is a great product to locate somebody or your fleet but to get from A to B, does Sat Nav work??

I would love to hear any comments on this!

Things to come in the future

2006-11-09T13:01:00.000+01:00

To give you an idea of where I am going with my story, future posts will include the following and a lot more!!!

The Dentist

"Ahhh yiiiis I speeek a leetall Ingleeesh" my God, I thought, this guy is about to let loose on my sore mouth armed with pigeon English. My French conversational skills at this time were good but due to my fear and nervousness I offered the Dentist a conversation about fishing. Can you imagine what it is like when you have an injection in your mouth and the guy says to me "deed you get anyfing in ze sea feeshing?" Automatically I spoke in French "ahh oui..." biting the syringe and his hand, he then squirts fluid over my face and says "pas de problem..What deed you get"......after 2 hours, I had arranged a sea fishing trip on his boat (I think)

The Doctor

After eating 48 oysters with my Father-in-Law I felt a bit ill. A bit is an understatement. I was ill. I couldn't move without throwing up. Of course the fact that I was in my in-laws flat didn't help. 24 hours of vomiting later, my Mother-in-Law called the Doctor. My Father-in-Law spoke good English, all be it old fashioned English. Phrases such as "we like your Bobbies in London", "my pencil is red" and "Do you know Prince Charles" are all common 'piss takes' I suffer. Anyhow, when the local Doctor arrived, he took one look at me and decided I needed a lot of drugs. In France it is commonplace to get a lot of drugs, when I say a lot I mean you'll need a carrier bag when you go to collect it from the pharmacie. The Doctor needed to take my temperature, my in-laws and wife were all in the room translating (although I am sure the mother-in-law was actually smiling, almost in anticipation). The Doctor then pulled out his slightly larger than normal thermometer, I smiled and opened my mouth, raising my tongue. The Doctor turned to my wife "what is this?" (in French of course) my Wife, smiling turned to me and sayed in her great English "that is going in your arse love". In my arse!!!!! To make things worse, the in-laws seemed to be waiting to watch this "can you get them out" I said "But you must stay, I don't trust this bastard"....

Next weeks posting is the trip to Cuba and how it took three months for my Boss to accept my desire to quit! My new life in England and my first experiences with booking hotels in France. And of course the great BD festival (you'l need to read nexts to find out more!)

Lets go back to the beginning

2006-11-09T09:40:00.000+01:00

La Rochelle, South-West France, the city with the Ocean.

I am about to tell you my every changing story about life moving from London, England to La Rochelle, France. Why I did it, what emotions went with it and some of the funniest events that have ever happened to me or anyone I have ever spoken to. I am going to start today with this background as to who I was back then!

Feel free to add comments or ask questions, I have written this in a book format, don't let the size put you off!!

Day One..My ordinary life

Cuba, Havana, that is where we are going this year for our holidays.

It always started like this, the new working year.

17 days paid holiday ready to be sacrificed on a gamble of relaxation and all-inclusive happiness.
Why Cuba you ask? Well, it has culture, sea and winter sun, a place where mohito's are part of life. And what has Cuba got to do with moving to France? Bear with me after this and the second chapter, it'll make sense! Finally, a mohito is a wonderful drink consisting of Cuban rum, mint, sugar, sparkling water and loads of ice. Ask my two mates called Andy and Andrew, they'll vouch for it..the hangover too I suspect.

I am going to start my journey with you here because the reality was that this was all I had to look forward to back then, two weeks in the sun followed by 48 sodding weeks cooped up in the sweatshop of my sales office.

I wasn't unhappy with life, had a beautiful wife and two adorable kids and a cat. I lived in a nice house in leafy Hertfordshire, drove a nice people carrier and had a vintage Porsche to play with. I was what can be described as being pretty normal.
In the summer, we had a barbecue every weekend with either friends or family and played in my 15 foot splasher pool, you know the one's, they cost around Â£100 quid to buy, take a couple of days to fill.
We always went out as a family at the weekend, I did enjoy it but to be honest, I just wanted to collapse in front of the tv, I was always tired on a Saturday back then.

We enjoyed walking and cycling, this was of course when the weather was good. When the weather is good, England is a great place to live, it was only an hour to Frinton-on-sea in Essex. This was our treat, sit on the beach once a month and take in some sun. It was always strange though, we could never buy any fresh fish..

We normally got back from the beach and ordered a nice Indian takeaway to be delivered to the door (the town centre was a good fifteen minutes walk away), warmed up the plates and watched the nights reality show. This was a regular event for us, a takeaway and tv. We ate healthily during the week, I say we, they did, I worked!

When the weather was not good, we would have two chains of thought, what can we do and lets go shopping. To go shopping, you need to drive, if you are going to drive, you may as well drive to somewhere good, our petrol bill was around Â£50 per week.

Our personal choice of shop was Bluewater,a huge indoor shopping centre in Kent, near the Dartford Tunnel. The type that everyone has within one hours drive of their house, the kind of shopping centre that takes you all day to walk around.

Now, let's be honest, we actually dress up in our best clothes to go there don't we. Our Sundays were like this in the winter, wake up, eat cooked breakfast, jump in people carrier and drive to Bluewater.

The first hurdle was the traffic jam that is the M25, rain or shine you knew you would be stuck at some point on it, we couldn't get there quick enough. I was earning lots of money and needed to spend some to feel better and clear away my hangovers.

The second hurdle was always the parking, there is never quite enough. After one and a half hours travel plus park time, we are in. Rushing through John Lewis or M&S to get the main malls. We were always feeling stressed but after a few purchases, it always seemed to lift a bit.

After an hour of dragging the kids around, who by now had started to fight, we felt that they deserved the scrum called the food hall. What a choice..Chinese, Indian, KFC, Burger King, they were all there. "Can I help you sir".."Yes please, two kids things and a load more grease for me than her". It was always the same, find a seat, eat it quickly because it had gone cold, leave half a litre of coke and back to the shops, burping onion for the next hour.

We lived a great life, we thought.

Driving home was always a nightmare because we'd always pop in to Ikea on the way out, have a meal and buy a cupboard! Why does everyone that goes to Ikea buy a huge piece of furniture that they don't need, struggle to get it in their car but breathe a sigh of relief because even after spending another two hundred quid they haven't got, when they eat their cheap 35p hot dog afterwards, they always say "I don't know how they do it for that price" followed by " you couldn't make them for 35p".

I had worked in my computer sales company for seven years, most of which I was the sales manager. What my job consisted of was setting targets, monitoring cold calls and telling people off (commonly known as the bollocking). A perk was getting drunk with my staff and their customers.

An easy job you say, try getting up at six thirty after two hours sleep, paraletic and getting the train to do it all again.

Every morning I was rudely awoken by Alan Brazil and Porkey on Talksport, this followed with the realisation that I am in bed and have a mouth like a flipflop, feel sick, have a huge hangover and need to take a quick uneasy shower.

I knew I was getting a bit podgy and knew I smoked too much but at least I didn't take drugs or sleep with prostitutes!! Yes, a bizarre reflection but at this stage in my life I was the normal one, in my office, I was the only person who drank just on weekdays and only smoked 50-60 cigarettes per day, most of the others had some serious vices, I felt proud of myself. I know at this stage, you may be thinking what did the rest do?

Ok, i'll give you an idea. Picture this..my boss was the owner, a very powerful man worth millions. He was and indeed still is, a man with few vices. Raised in Africa, he was brought up with slaves, his parents sent him to boarding school in England, he resembled a handsome Mr Bean in looks. He spoke with almost perfect diction and was commercially astute, never missing a deal or a way of further enhancing his fortune.

His vice?

He loved black girls and prostitutes. Not only that, his mistress (black too unlike his wife) and he would attend swinging conventions. They had 'big Nigel' in Birmingham, a guy of immense length that would be regularly shipped down to satisfy all needs, my boss wasn't gay nor did he touch 'Nigel', he loved to watch!

Other vices I had witnessed included going to a drinking den, sitting with Judges, police and gangsters. In these dens, anything goes, by that I mean anything goes in terms of drugs and occasionally women.

I have witnessed an old man of 84 sniffing cocaine and exclaiming "a gram a day and I'm still here"!!

I never took it nor ever will, I have seen many a colleague destroyed by the stuff.

Most of my staff were alcoholics and all but one denied it. Terry was the number one drinker, he was our secret weapon. Aged 47, balding with a beer belly, he was the champion of back-handers and meeting new clients by accident in pubs was a speciality, at one point, he was given special licence by the boss to spend the last thursday of each month (payday for most) in the pubs in the City..'networking'!!

If we wanted to get a heavy drinking customer to sign a deal, he'd be brought out.

Terry was a serious drinker, he knew it and we were all in awe of him. He had four pints everyday for lunch, he had been known to drink over 48 cans of beer during 'Telfest', a bi-annual drinking barbecue.

He was never ill, never late for work and when at work, he was a hard worker. He was a big gambler. He instigated the 'friday flutter'. This was an event where we all put Â£5 in a pot a then had a gamble. All we did on a friday afternoon was drink 'Belgian coffee' (Stella Artois in a coffee cup to hide it from the other teams) and watch the horses interactively!! "Come on my son!"" was often heard from our corner!!

I often wonder how many hours of work are lost due to online gambling in the UK.

Anyhow, booking a holiday was a traumatic event...I coughed to clear some remnants of Malboro Light from my throat "knock knock".."ahh come in dear boy" said the Boss, he always called me dear boy, he was 40 and I 30, a strange thing for me to hear but by now was used to it.

"I am taking two weeks off in Easter, I am off to Cuba" I started "I hope this is ok and you have no plans yourself at the same time"..I waited and waited.

Either he was ignoring me or he was studying something on his pc, checking the lastest business news I assumed. "Come and look at this" he said "this one lives locally"..as I wandered around his desk, I had another brief but clear glance into his world, he was looking at an online swinging exchange, he had just found a couple in Lewisham that were up for some fun. "Great news...sorry, what did you say?"

I repeated myself and knew it didn't really sink in, sod it I thought, I am going to book it anyway.

Before letting my wife pack my bags, I had one last almighty drink-up with my team, making sure they could not survive without me for two weeks. Normally, socialising in London consists of the following:-

Beer - 6 pints for aperitif
Whisky and coke - 4 or 5 for the road
Burger - in the back of a black cab on the way to a reputable lapdancing venue
Champagne - 2-3 bottles between 4 people in the first hour in the venue
Bottles of expensive lager - running out of cash due to dances and champagne
Cab home - at any price due to the fact it is now 2am and all train stations shut. Generally an unlicenced Ford Cortina driven by somebody that doesn't speak English.

That night was the same as ever, we did the above..

So, to continue the story, we went to Cuba for some sun, to see some old cars and watch virgins make cigars between their thighs, this was what I'd worked so hard for, a good rest...

More soon, let me know what you think!!!